I feel like I'm the only one that ever seems to have this problem, though I know that isn't true. I know we all struggle with trying to make a change in our lives and failing to do so. From there, some of us decide to either try again or to give up and move on with our lives, knowing it isn't what we wanted. I've been coasting on that fence, but it's been a painful fence to sit on. I need to make a decision.
I've decided that I need to focus more heavily on what I want to do with my life, and not allow myself to become discouraged. I have a lot going on, and a lot that I want to change, and I am easily discouraged, but I need to be strong. So forward I go, into the breach of the chaotic organization I've thrust myself into.
I've established a very strict schedule to follow, accurate down to 15 minute blocks. It's got meal times, class times, study times, and everything else I can possibly consider listing on a calendar. It's insanely specific, and it's my life now. As much as I want to spend time being lenient and enjoy the company of friends and roommates, I need to be more heavily focused on my education, which is why this calendar will be the final word on my time spent. There is a decent amount of unscheduled time, for hanging out or watching TV shows. For the majority of my week, though, I will run on a schedule.
I've also established (re-established?) routines. They are very exact, and must be followed to the letter. I have no room for alteration or skipping certain tasks. Keeping those routines to exactness will help me to keep everything else to exactness, because it will help me to get active before noon like I do normally. That needs to change, and I hope that it will.
I have a lot of things to work on, from attentiveness to spirituality to expediting tasks to the way I see my family. It's going to be a lot of effort, and a lot of pain, and a lot of personal irritation. I'm probably going to hate my life for a few weeks, but it's going to work out. It has to.
